The Green-Eyed Monster
How often have you looked at someone else and thought, “They don’t know how easy they have it.”? We see the stereotypical soccer mom driving her Land Rover in the drive-thru at Starbucks; the muscular guy enhancing his well-toned abs at the gym; or the happy family going on a trip to Disney World. Some won’t think a thing, but there are those that see the stereotypes and get snarky or think, “Why do they have such a great life when mine is falling apart?”
Perhaps it is jealousy? Ouch!
Instantly, some readers start denying— “Noooo, I have nothing to be jealous of.” They get on the defensive and make excuses like, “Well, those people just think they are better than everyone else. They put on a show.”
I hate to break it to you, but it’s the green-eyed monster.
First of all, if you are thinking much at all about other people, how they look at you, how you look at them, and what everyone is thinking, you aren’t focused on yourself. Instead, you are looking for distractions to avoid dealing with your own issues.
When we are confident in ourselves and feel good about who we are, other people’s actions become irrelevant. In fact, we actually become more aware of being in service to others when we have nothing to hide and are not self-conscious.
I find it interesting that Shakespeare made “the green-eyed monster” famous through his writing, and some attribute Sappho, the Greek Poet, with referring to someone as “green with envy.” The color green is also associated with the heart chakra with is said to align with our emotions and deep feelings. Envy is all about feeling angry and wanting something we can’t or don’t have.
If we assume someone is rich with a great life without knowing them at all, there are feelings attached to that. Why do you care? What is it stirring up in you to make up assumptions about someone else’s life? Therein lies the envy, resentment, or regret—make your choice.
Perhaps you wish you had such a life, or regret not marrying some guy you met in high school because he’s rich now. Maybe you made choices in your life that have you in a position you are not happy with and you are reminded of that when you see someone who seems to be happier.
Find those reasons for the jealousy and reconcile them. Make changes if that is what you want, or realize that you made some good choices for your life and it is the way it is because in reality, that IS what you want.
If you are living a life you don’t want, what are you going to do to change it? If you are overweight and envy the guy with great abs, make a change—now! Or let the envy go and be happy you are who you are.
Everyone has different reasons and different circumstances that led them to who they are today. How are you shaping your life and circumstances? How are you recognizing the work you’ve done to be where you are? Or what are you doing to get to where you want to be?
On the flip side, those people who seem to have the perfect life? You don’t know their story. “Cute Soccer Mom,” may be a neighbor who is helping take care of someone’s kids because their dad is in the hospital and mom is working. Mr. Goodbody may have been Mr. Couch Potato six months ago. He’s not bragging—he’s proud of himself for being healthier. The family at Disney World may be there because they won a trip or the child was gifted the trip through the Make a Wish Foundation.
You never know what someone else is going through or what their story is. No one just magically gets a perfect life. Everyone has trials and tribulations. It’s how you handle those events that show your character. Be careful what you wish for. Instead of being mad about what you don’t have, recognize what you do have, including the power to make the life that is best for yourself.