Wednesday Wonderings: Compassionately Kind 9/17/25

In general, people are nice. At least, I choose to see the world having far more kind and benevolent beings than those jerks we occasionally encounter. Even people mean in the moment, may be usually nice, but are having a bad time.

I went through a stage in my early working days where I took everything personally and thought that if someone was angry around me, I must have done something wrong. After some assertiveness training and a great deal of personal experience, I quit believing that I was the center of the universe. I wasn’t conceited. I just felt responsible.

Once we realize that at any given moment, individuals have the choice to behave well or behave badly. We choose what we want to say. We are not forced and we always, always have options. I know that if I am pleasant and say “Hello,” to someone, it isn’t my fault if they snap back and say, “What do you want?!”  I didn’t cause it.

I have no need to take personal offence, and depending on who it is, I can ignore them, ask them, “Is something wrong?” or my favorite, “Who peed in your cornflakes?” Whatever response I choose, I carefully select it based on my relationship with the person, the situation, and what my goal is. Most importantly, I don’t take their response personally, nor do I accept responsibility for that person’s ill behavior.

With this knowledge in mind, I’d like to tread (carefully) on a topic that has people around the world tied in knots—Charlie Kirk. In the past few months, I had seen several of his clips appear in my social media feed. I didn’t like everything he said, but he didn’t ask me to. I had a choice. I listened to some of his statements and his interactions with young people. He made it clear he had his beliefs and he justified those beliefs with facts or with his knowledge of the Christian faith which was pretty extensive.

What intrigued me most was how he encouraged his audience members to do the same. He wasn’t mean, disparaging, or argumentative. He just asked for justification in their beliefs when they challenged him. He encouraged critical thinking and research. He asked individuals to understand what they believed in rather than to accept media and social statements as fact without the knowledge to back it up.

We used to live in a world where we could debate each other and discuss opposing beliefs in a knowledgeable and congenial way.

Now, people have gone nuts. They are publicly cheering public execution of famous and/or political figures because they disagree with that person’s statements. I saw a video where a woman was asking her two young daughters (approximately aged 8 and 10, “What’s the best thing that happened today?”

The girls cheerfully replied, “Charlie Kirk was killed.” She went on and asked what the next best thing could be, and the daughters started listing other people that should be executed because the figureheads disagree with their mother’s stance on issues. Why would a woman teach her children that  murder is a good thing?

People are taking everything personally, and as a result they are choosing to be angry, insulted, and feel entitled to revenge and justice. These behaviors do not work in a world where we need cooperation and civility.

I think most people would rather live in a society where they can share their beliefs without worrying about being murdered. We have to quit pointing fingers “at them,” and recognize our own culpability. If we call anyone out for having a difference of opinion, we are stifling free and creative thought processes.

If you have an opinion about something, be ready and open to hearing opposing viewpoints without judgement.

Anyone who automatically believes those pre-written  social media  posts without researching the origin and without fact-finding is proving Mark Twain correct. (See quotes in the photo).

It’s okay to disagree with people. It is NOT okay to wish anyone dead. Instead of letting these phrases become part of our vernacular, isn’t it time to help people realize such statements of hate are unacceptable?

We first need to listen to each other then choose appropriate responses that extend compassion and kindness. We don’t have to accept other people’s truths, but we can honor them and encourage them to think for themselves.